Mum’s hilarious post about what women really want for Mother’s Day goes viral
With Mother’s Day just around the corner, the shops are full of pink mugs emblazoned with ‘World’s Best Mum’ slogans and sweet little teddies.
But one mum wants to show the reality of what mums really want for the occasion.
Jenny Tompkins, from Leeds, posted on Facebook about how she spotted the typical Mother’s Day stuff while she was doing her food shop.
She said: ‘Just got back from my food shop and whilst out I spotted the Mother’s day aisle. Whilst this stuff is cute in its own way, mothers of young children and teenagers do not want this shite. We really don’t.
‘If you really want to show appreciation on the day that should really be called “Sorry your fanny got wrecked” then listen up.’
The mum-of-seven then listed all the simple things she really wants for the day on 22 March.
She said: ‘We want to p**s in peace. We want two minutes alone in the bathroom without a little human staring at our bits like it’s going to start firing out ping pong balls. Nothing magical is going to happen so for the love of God, leave us alone.
‘We want you to get dressed. We want to hand you your clothes and not have to find you twenty minutes later wearing nothing but your underwear and one f**king shoe.’
Moving onto chores and tidying up, Jenny added: ‘Move your own sh*t. How simple is that? This applies to husbands too. Shoes and coats have a place so use them!
‘Same as toys. Although put them away properly! My 6yr old once put her creepy arse doll in the fridge and I had a f**king heart attack getting the milk out.’
Next up, she discussed meal times and the nightmare of getting your kids to eat their dinner.
‘We want to cook a meal and have it eaten without fuss,’ she said.
‘Without cries of desperation that you no longer like pizza despite having a fucking meltdown the day before that you couldn’t have it because I’d cooked sausage and mash.’
She ended with a few other points about making life a little easier for mums.
Jenny said: ‘Stop losing your fucking socks. Tesco thinks I gave birth to centipedes.
‘Boys. Wipe the damn toilet seat.
‘Girls. Sit properly on the toilet cos you keep spraying and your brothers get the blame.
‘Most importantly…….. When you get put to bed, Go to sleep! Seriously kids. it’s the only time we get to feel human.
‘Not only that but when you’re p**sing about till gone 10pm, I’m too tired to do anything remotely naughty with Daddy!
‘You might think I’m old but mummy needs some dick if I’m going to tolerate your tantrums over your f**king sock feeling funny.’
But despite the reality of being a mum, Jenny said she adores her kids and will love whatever they actually get her on Mother’s Day.
She laughed: ‘Pretty certain none of the above will happen though so I’ll smile politely and with gratitude at whatever you get me because you’re my world and who wants full bladder control anyway??’
Other mums loved the post and agreed with Jenny. The post has over 6,800 likes and 8,600 shares.
One said: ‘This is brilliant, so funny but true. Crying with laughter reading it!’
Another added: ‘Amen to everything that has been said. Bloody brilliant.’